Our soul is the unique essence of who we are and the expression of that in our lives. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n We perceive the world around us differently and as a species we\u00a0 have access to similar feelings and emotions. We may be present in the same situation as others, \u00a0 but how we experience, process\u00a0 and respond to it will be completely different.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n As I have shared,\u00a0 our nervous system is the gatekeeper for our response to countless experiences.\u00a0 Accessing our soul\u2019s desire during those moments can be challenging, but we can get there when we attend to our nervous system regulation and learn strategies\u00a0 to tap into our resilience.<\/span><\/p>\n I was taught by my spiritual teachers that we have an emotional heart and a higher heart.<\/strong> Our emotional heart is the one that perceives the\u00a0 world through the lens of our upbringing,\u00a0 \u00a0 thoughts,\u00a0 experiences and \u00a0 wounds. That higher heart perceives our world from a neutral and loving place, one without judgement or fear. Those who are spiritual or religious might say it is from\u00a0 “God\u2019s\u2019\u2019 perspective. Regardless of your beliefs, your higher heart is that deeper knowing of truth in any moment.<\/span><\/p>\n In times of stress, worry or challenge, it can be really difficult to access that higher perspective.<\/span><\/p>\n And yet, <\/strong><\/span>our soul knows what we need — <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n it\u2019s just a matter of accessing that deeper knowledge.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n Photo Credit:s https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@benwhitephotography<\/p><\/div>\n In the book \u201cI\u2019ve Had It Up To Here: From Stress to Strength\u201d<\/a> by Gaynor Parkin and Sarah Boyd, they share recent research about resilience and \u00a0 the key findings \u00a0 in improving it.<\/span><\/p>\n Remember that resilience is the ability to cope with challenging situations, developing strength and capacity for well-being on the other side of those situations. Resilience is the ability to find joy in our lives despite\u00a0 difficulties we face.\u00a0 In their research, the authors found the most supportive strategies for resilience were:<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019ve shared at length\u00a0 the importance of relationships<\/a>, mindfulness and reducing worry<\/a> in previous blogs in this series. Now, I\u2019d like to focus on the concepts of Positivity and Optimism<\/strong>.\u00a0 It can get tricky though, because these are very nuanced, and\u00a0 doesn\u2019t mean just being positive or looking on the bright side. On the contrary, resilience allows one to access the full spectrum of feelings and experiences while also\u00a0 \u00a0 able to regulate our responses with general ease. We do not want to be robots who are “neutral\u2019\u2019 all of the time, nor do we want to eliminate negative and painful experiences. That is\u00a0 especially important for our children since these\u00a0 are what help us to grow and learn. We are messy and imperfect, and our range of thoughts and feelings make us human. \u00a0 It is the acceptance of that truth that makes life \u00a0 rich and challenging.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n Photo Credit: https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@nate_dumlao<\/p><\/div>\n <\/p>\n Parkin and Boyd dive deeper into positivity and optimism with practices that help us access these particular strengths.\u00a0 They share researcher Dr. Barbara Fredrickson\u2019s<\/a> 10 keys to positivity:<\/span><\/p>\n One of the benefits of positivity for resilience is when we have a more “positive\u2019\u2019 perspective, we are less likely to view a challenging situation as a threat according to Fredrickson. For those with trauma, this will be more nuanced, but requires attention to addressing the trauma response as a part of coping and perspective.\u00a0 Those coping with depression, anxiety, autism and other psychiatric disorders may struggle with \u00a0 more rigid thinking. Developing flexible thinking is part of the therapeutic process to support the ability to cope.<\/span><\/p>\n Optimism is similar to positivity, but is more related to our perspective than our thinking. Our thoughts lead to feelings, then lead to actions\u00a0 \u2026\u00a0 but optimism is the lens with which we view our thinking. \u00a0 Optimism\u00a0 sees\u00a0 the glass half full or what Dr. Seligman<\/a> describes as a set of skills for self-talk that helps us frame or reframe a situation as hopeful or manageable rather than catastrophic.<\/span><\/p>\n Putting these keys of positivity and optimism into practice are easier said than done. But here are some that I suggest:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Schedule time each week for play.<\/b> That doesn\u2019t\u00a0 mean, make cleaning the house playful. Do something that has no \u00a0 value except for the sheer enjoyment of it. I also encourage this to be something engaging with family and friends. Remember connection is a big key to resilience.\u00a0 Those activities could be board games, sports, dancing, singing or being in nature.<\/span><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/amysaloner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/ben-white-ReEqHw2GyeI-unsplash-1-300x200.jpg\")
\n
![\"soul\"](\"https:\/\/amysaloner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/nathan-dumlao-L86vy42TB-w-unsplash-300x200.jpg\")
\n