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How many times have you made a New Year\u2019s Resolution (or many) only to lose steam a month or two later and feel completely defeated by spring? I\u2019ll raise my hand to that! Resolutions are nothing more than hopes unfulfilled unless you put real behavior-change strategies behind them.. The New Year seems like a great time to make a fresh start, and it can be, but you have to understand a few things to turn those intentions a reality. So dump those new year\u2019s resolutions and do this instead:<\/span><\/p>\n Behavior change is a process that involves more than putting your mind toward doing something. We are creatures of habit, and when we engage in the same behavior, we do it because it serves a purpose.\u00a0 It may not always “serve us.\u2019\u2019 for our health and well being, but it does serve some needs we have. Humans are actually designed to conserve \u00a0 energy and high output is not what\u00a0 we\u2019re\u00a0 designed for. As hunters and gatherers, we put out only the energy necessary to obtain food, \u00a0 then we needed to rest (A LOT), because we never knew when our next meal would be. When we say, \u201cI need to get back to the gym, so I am going to start going three times a week starting in the new year,\u2019\u2019 that\u2019s\u00a0 great! But what\u2019s the underlying reason for wanting to go?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Behavior change is directly related to what we think and feel, so dig deep into the underlying experience you want to feel or the thoughts you need to shift.\u00a0 (I want to have more energy, feel better in my clothes, feel stronger,\u00a0 be more compassionate or accepting, etc.). When we focus on what we want to experience, we move away from\u00a0 shoulds to\u00a0 actual needs and, in turn, can widen our scope of what it actually takes to get there. Going to the gym may be a piece of that puzzle, but keep going through the next steps, because it may not be.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When we look at what we\u2019re currently doing, it is important to look at the why. For example, you want to go to the gym right after work, but by the time you leave the office, you are hungry and tired and just don\u2019t have the energy to work out. There are a couple of important questions I would ask in this inquiry as to WHY you aren\u2019t doing what you think you “should\u2019\u2019 do.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Yes, you may be heading home because you are not sufficiently fueled, it may not be the right time AND you may need something different altogether. You may be stopping yourself from performing a behavior that you THINK you need, but actually you may not be fully listening to what your body and mind actually NEED.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span> Think about how you want to FEEL in your body, understand WHY you want to do the things you want to do and explore what you might actually NEED.<\/span><\/p>\n After getting deeper into your why, it\u2019s important to consider whether the timing is off when setting goals. When we understand that,\u00a0 our energy, focus and capacity for change ebb and flow with various cycles. We have seasonal cycles, like winter, spring, summer and fall, and especially for women, we also have monthly cycles based on menstruation. Women have very different levels of energy output based on when we are in menstruation, follicular ovulatory, and luteal phases. And even if you are no longer menstruating , these cycles still occur energetically and can be tracked based on the moon cycles.<\/span><\/p>\n One of my favorite books that explains this is Kate Northrup\u2019s <\/span>Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Ambitious Women.<\/span><\/i><\/a> Our culture dictates that everyone should be able to do anything at any time. And that\u2019s simply not true. Our energy waxes and wanes based on these seasonal and monthly cycles. So be realistic about what you should be doing in January, April, July or October.<\/span><\/p>\n My guideline is this: In winter (menstrual) months, consider\u00a0 more internal, quiet and contemplative activities. Our energy output is lower and really focused on conservation.\u00a0 Spring (follicular)\u00a0 is for planting those seeds, as frost melts, our energy starts to pick up and\u00a0 planning\u00a0 activities, requiring increased energy and focus on growth, is great. Summer (ovulation) is super strong energy, but we can burn ourselves out if we push too hard in the heat. So keep moving, but at a steady pace. Fall (luteal) brings harvest, so it\u2019s a great time for\u00a0 cleaning things up, reflecting on the past year, making plans and goals and putting in that last energetic push for that winter conservation time.<\/span><\/p>\n Those plans to join the gym in January may actually be counter-intuitive after all. Maybe use January doing your deep introspection of what the year ahead may look like and save the gym joining for March. <\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s really easy to choose a handful of resolutions, but pick one or \u00a0 two, depending on the season and your priorities. Based on a global <\/span>survey<\/span><\/a> at the beginning of 2021 by Statista, these were the most popular resolutions:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n As you can see, these are all the “doing\u2019\u2019 parts of the resolution. If any of these line up with what you are considering changing, go back to\u00a0 steps 1 and 2. Ask yourself why these are important to you, prioritize their importance, then identify when it\u2019s appropriate to address them. Some may have to wait,\u00a0 and we have accept that. It is so much more encouraging when we can make progress in one area than feel like a failure in many. <\/span><\/p>\n Many times our goals are not met\u00a0 because they are either not right l for our intended desire, or\u00a0 were not specific enough, with manageable steps, to reach.\u00a0 Just saying you are going to lose weight is too nebulous to really sink your teeth into. Is there a specific weight or clothing size? Do you know the\u00a0 steps needed?\u00a0 For instance, drinking\u00a0 an appropriate amount of water per day, limiting fast food or restaurant food,\u00a0 eating a certain amount of vegetables and getting more protein. Sometimes having a coach can help us stay accountable and create a plan specific to our own personal needs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n We can become overwhelmed if we do not break our goals into bite-sized pieces that can be measured and tracked. You know the saying: “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.\u2019\u2019 If we reframe resolutions to be more like long-term goals with short-term strategies,\u00a0 we can feel more successful at every step.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n As humans, our nature is playful. As a matter of fact, children learn through play, and adults do too, we\u2019ve just forgotten. There is a reason for playing games, sports or other playful activities \u2026 because it\u2019s fun vand\u00a0 keeps us flexible (mentally and physically). \u00a0 We cannot make progress on behavior change with rigid thinking. One of my favorite sayings is: “If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.\u2019\u2019\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s a mouthful, but\u00a0 true. We cannot make change with the thinking that got us stuck \u00a0 in the first place. And play and fun is the easiest way to get\u00a0 out of that scenario.<\/span><\/p>\n My daughter\u00a0 started creating her bullet journal to track her \u00a0 goals. What is a bullet journal you ask? This writer from <\/span>Good Housekeeping<\/span><\/a> describes it as \u201c<\/span>Equal parts day planner, diary, and written <\/span>meditation<\/span><\/a>, bullet journaling turns the chaos of coordinating your life into a streamlined system that helps you be more productive and reach your personal and professional goals.\u201d <\/span>My daughter designs them before the month starts, chooses a theme and\u00a0 goals, \u00a0 uses color and design to keep her engaged\u00a0 every day. It\u2019s fun, creative and\u00a0 she\u2019s motivated to track because it is pleasing to her senses.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Make it fun by using\u00a0 planners or trackers, enlist friends or family to join,\u00a0 create games \u00a0 to accomplish your goals, reward yourself after hitting smaller goals toward your larger ones and choose activities that are inherently more fun, engaging and motivating than monotonous ones.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n For example, I know I need to exercise, but I\u2019m not motivated to go to the gym, and where I live, there aren\u2019t many places to walk. But\u00a0 I love to dance and enrolled in a dance class twice a week, and my husband and I are starting Salsa dance classes.\u00a0 It\u2019s different every week so it nourishes my need for novelty, and it\u2019s something I love to do. Set yourself up for success by meeting both physical and emotional needs when choosing how to accomplish your goals.<\/span><\/p>\n Research suggests It take approximately <\/span>66 days <\/span><\/a>of consistently engaging in a new behavior to create a habit. And 254 before it is fully formed. That is more than what once was believed. That means we need to spend time and attention on it.\u00a0 Make time monthly, quarterly and\/or semiannually to check on\u00a0 your intentions and goals. How are you actually doing? Any good behavior-change strategies include revising and reworking specific plans.\u00a0 Assess what is working, not working and what\u00a0 would make it better. Sometimes we understand our needs better after trying a strategy for a period of time. Evaluating any barriers, thinking or behaviors that are interfering with our success can only be realized after making an effort to engage in new behaviors.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nUnderstand the principles of biology and behavior change\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n
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Think seasonally\u00a0<\/h3>\n
Choose Wisely<\/h3>\n
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Choose actionable and reasonable steps based on the above information.<\/h3>\n
Make it fun<\/span><\/h3>\n
Revisit and Revise Regularly\u00a0\u00a0<\/h3>\n